*article not yet edited, please excuse any mistakes.
Warning: triggers, Dealing with extreme depression.
80% of emails I receive daily on [email protected], an e-mail dedicated solely to better help the awesome audience of mysupremacy.com for free, are in one way or the other a guy telling me about his oneitis case, how he is in love with this girl and …etc.
In that article, I discussed the major reason’s for having a Oneitis, ranging from scarcity to neediness, and went further on giving a fit for all solutions.
I will probably need some future articles on the same topic to give it the density it deserves, oneitis is really a stagnating problem that most of us faced/ will face at least once.
But for today’s article, I will talk about another special cause for oneitis.
I will dedicate a whole article on thi5 because it also cause more serious mental problems, like:
- Extreme Depression.
- Extreme Neediness.
- Hate, Anger & Misogyny.
- And many other ugly problems.
And that is…
Your Need To Be Saved.
You sense it in everyone, more obvious in women, more severe in men.
It feels like you need someone to help you, to save you, to take you out of your misery!
And that misery could be your emptiness, trauma, pain, loneliness, lack of purpose and many other miseries we face or fantasies about through our life.
It is a feeling that varies in severity so much, that some of you won’t be able to relate and some would totally understand what I am talking about.
This topic, and generally any topic that would give the impression of neediness and “Beta” behaviour, any topic that would give off a possibility that the author or the mPUA has feelings, god forbid!, won’t be discussed on game/pua blog’s.
These topics would make us look less cool, it will fracture the image of the ‘heartless PUA’ from the reader’s mind, and it will create a bad image for that blog.
Most mPUA, as some of you started calling me, and authors of game blogs will stick to “mackin hoes and fucking bitches” type of vibe in their articles and blogs in order to seem cool and alpha in front of their audience.
While there is some wisdom in their immaturity, this is not the approach we decided to take at MySupremacy.com
Because one, you do not have to pretend that you are successful when you are successful, and that goes for everything else.
And two, this is a community for men to share their experience, not for self-pity but rather to improve and grow.
You should feel free to share with us whatever is bothering you as a man, we might call you a pussy and a kid, we might tell you that you need to grow up and own your ball’s.
But we do it not because we do not understand you, but rather because it is the best way to help you crawl out of such traps and forge a stronger self.
Your need to be saved, on an emotional level, happens due to having complex negative emotions stuck inside of you while you’re unable to deal with them correctly.
Now as a man, you should deal with and fix negative emotions by yourself, and to not let them grow into depression or the ‘Save Me’ feeling.
You can do that when dealing with self-doubt, loneliness, lack of energy or such minor severity emotions.
But sometimes, the emotions just overwhelm you, they are so severe that you can not deal with them on your own.
Like a severe case of oneitis, losing a loved one or any medium to high severity emotion.
How can you deal with such emotions by yourself?
Should you just keep telling yourself to man up?
Should you just ignore them?
No, not exactly.
Ignoring or mistreating such severe feelings in a man will result in blowing them out of proportion and thus creating even more unnecessary problems and complications inside one’s self.
You have to address these feelings correctly in order for you to fix them and that is where most of you got it wrong.
Men usually deal with such emotions by either:
A-Hold them in and try to ignore them.
B-Resort to drugs and alcohol to shut them up.
C-Project them to other people and cry out for help.
Now Point A fails because holding such emotions inside for long period of time will make them grow larger and more severe to the degree that you will no longer be able to hold them in anymore and so you will resort to one of the next two points.
Point B is not much of a good idea because it will massively destroy you, and you are not exactly dealing with the issue, you are just numbing yourself with the use of such substances and when you come down from there effect, those feelings will crawl back into you.
Point C is the best out of the three but only if it was done right,
You should seek help from other people when it comes to such depressive emotions, one way is to go to a psychiatrist for help, and you should do that if you recognize that it is affecting your life, there is no shame in going to a professional for help and it will in no way make you less of a man.
Another way is to seek help from your friends, and only the good and close ones, this if done right, will create a better relationship with your friends where you can all share and grow together. It is ok to sit down with a friend and discuss what is bothering you and see what he has to offer, just do not overdo it and become much of a nagging negative guy who is always complaining, if you find yourself always complaining you should take a step back and try to fix some issues on your own or seek out professionals.
Now resorting to people for help can go massively wrong if you project it to the wrong person.
You might project such emotions into a girl that you like, maybe even your girlfriend and try to let her help you, to let her save you.
This is the cause of some Hardly treatable Oneitis cases.
It is mostly wrong to project such emotions on a girl because she is depending on you to be that person, and that is how it should be.
The girl views the guy as the stone in the relationship, where she is a wave of emotions constantly smashing into him and testing his unwavering stillness, that is what gets her hooked to you.
But when you reverse the role, when you become the wave of emotions smashing into her, it will be viewed as needy, unattractive and a major turn off.
If you want to lose a girl, just go all out on her, tell her how she makes you feel, how you need her, how you love her and how much she means to you. she will be gone in an instant.
This is a very broad and complicated topic, so I will leave it for another article.
But what you have to understand is, this romantic BS you see in the movies doesn’t work in real life, that is why romantic poems do not work, that is why nice guy’s finish last, that is why girls bang heartless bad boys and fucking love it.
It is because, Vulnerability = Weakness.
This is also a very misunderstood topic, It won’t fit in this article, but to get an idea of what good vulnerability is, you can read an awesome article from a fellow blogger, Mark Manson, HERE. Go read it.
In that article, he explains how to be vulnerable and how it is important to be so in order to have a more healthy and lasting relationships. Now I totally agree with what he talks about, I just do not agree with the term he used.
He is not talking about vulnerability, he is talking about emotional honesty and boldness.
Being really vulnerable with a woman, letting her see your weakness is a big no-no, at least for me.
Out of all the BS and unrealistic Male-female Relationship dynamics we see in movies, most of them got this one right.
You have to be her “Saviour” and not vice versa.
And no, I do not mean white knighting girls or going out of your way to help them.
You become her “Saviour” just by being that rock.
And that is where the world of game collide.
When we teach you how to be confident, ballsy, sexual, edgy, cool, relaxed, charismatic, go-getter, successful… etc.
All the tricks and techniques in pick up, all what you have been taught from push-pull, negs, day game, night game, frame control, non-reactiveness… etc.
It is all to help you become that rock.
It is all to help you present yourself as the stone, to be indifferent, to be stable
To Be Strong.
When she feels like she can bring her worst storm and smash into you, and you will just hold still, she will get massively and insanely in love with you.
That is what women do all the time, now you should understand why they shit test us, why the have the infamous mood swings, why they keep throwing drama and unnecessary bullshit our way.
It is to test you, to see how much of a stone you are, how much you can take.
Because every time you pass that test, every time she brings her worst and crash into you, and you just stand there not affected, she gets attracted to you even more, she is getting wet just because you are holding your frame, just because you are being the stone.
Being the stone = Strength.
The less weakness you show, the more attracted she will be.
You can test this out easily,
Try to show a girl some indicators of strength.
Your money, relations, physical strength, your indifference, your ability to walk away, your options… etc.
She will be hooked, HARD.
It would be annoyingly hard to get rid of her, she will stick like a god damn leech.
Now try that with another girl, but just add some ‘Vulnerability’ to the mix.
She will easily walk away.
And no, you can not blame her for that, you are the source of security in the relationship, that is some of what you bring to the table.
She is afraid, show her you can protect her, show her you can seize the fucking world with your hands and she will be yours.
Show her that you are weak, and she will be gone.
There is no use for two scared people, there is no balance in such relationship.
You, as the man, has to provide the utmost sense of security, of power and strength.
That is evolution, and that is why we have the heavenly hormone,
Things should be clicking inside your head, finally girls do make sense!
All the things you see around you, friend-zone, nice guys vs. assholes, power and dominance, direct vs indirect game, every god damn thing we teach on pick up, everything attraction, comes back to how much of ‘The Stone’ you are.
The faster you display this quality, the faster it will get you laid.
That is why direct high-risk openers work like a charm, not because of the opener itself, but rather because it gives you the opportunity to demonstrate how much of a stone you can be effectively and quickly.
But what if you can not be the stone, what if you are vulnerable?
What if you have all those emotions still stuck inside you, what if you tried everything and nothing seemed to work?
Who’s Gonna Save You Now?
It is very rare, but some people have been through hell, or even worse.
Think of soldiers coming back from war zones, why do you think they have a high suicide rate?
It is what they have been through, it exceed the ability of a human mind and what it can handle, it goes beyond what a psychiatrist can possibly fix.
Still, there exist what is worst.
Some people went through the unspeakable, the unthinkable. A childhood closer to one sick twisted movie, not to any form of reality. A life with a sequence of surprises aligned perfectly to traumatize the fuck out of you. Memories that aren’t meant to be shared, aren’t meant to be expressed, they are just inside, always on replay, playing over and over in your head. Drugs stand helpless, sleep is more of a short black out, life is just a long movie, that stopped making sense a long time ago, it is not real anymore. Your body is physically destroying itself, because of how much you have inside of you, and you are just standing there watching.
Most of us will never ever experience such things, but some people had already experienced that, in a slightly different variation and a very likely end.
But it is out of the questions, it is not possible. for a supreme, that is never going to happen regardless of how awful and hard life seems to be.
But surely you won’t be able to go any longer like that, you need a solution.
And it is not easy to find.
What I think the solution, based on my nonprofessional opinion, after being out of options. after you have tried every single trick in the book, after you have sought every professional help available.
Just after you saw your life coming to an end, just when suicide seemed like a good idea.
Do not go on with it, and try this instead:
Let it burn what is left of you.
Expose it completely, let all the shit you went through, everything traumatizing you, everything keeping you awake, let it surface.
Let it out, and let burn everything you got left, push the feelings out, push the pain out.
It will hurt, a lot, you won’t cry, you will just feel lost and in pain.
Your chest will feel like boiling, you will feel on the verge of a heart attack, your body will sting left and right with no reason.
It will take a couple of minutes, make sure you got everything out, that you are experiencing every single emotion simultaneously, just you, by yourself.
And then it will just stop, the pain, the feelings… everything.
You won’t be happy, You won’t be sad.
You will just be.
It is probably not healthy, but it works.
Do not give up on life, we need you.