How To Talk To Girls?
In this article, we will explore the art of becoming an intermediate conversationalist with women. You will find all the knowledge needed to take you to an above average conversationalist level, regardless of how much you suck now.
In this article, I will be talking about How To Talk To Girls, How to never run out of things to say and How to be more interesting and fun to be around. I will break it down into 4 mindset switches, to get your mentality on point, and then give you 7 applicable and extremely useful tips and trick to improve your conversation, and never be boring again.
But this article will be focused on ‘How to talk to girls’, Conversation skills in regards of your professional life will be explored in a future article.
*This article won’t cover hard-case newbies who never had a normal conversation with anyone outside of their family and close social circle, if this is your case, please contact me directly on: [email protected]
How To Talk To Girls.
I find it amusing how people never get tired of asking “How To Talk To Girls”, “What should I say next?“, “How can I keep talking for a long time?“, “How can I become an interesting story-teller?“… etc. I will break down all my knowledge on how I transformed myself, and many others into a Supreme conversationalist.
As for every skill in this world, no matter how well you break it down on papers, it worth jack shit if you don’t take it to the real world and apply it many times on different people .
let Us Begin
A-Building The Right Mentality: When you want to adopt a new set of skills, you have to start with your mind First. getting your mind cleared, by removing all the skewed images you had about reality and inserting a brand new genuine ones instead, you will create the right foundation to faster adopt better skills,
So please pay close attention:
1-What you say is not that important: Don’t waste time thinking about what you should communicate verbally, what smart lines you have to say, and how much of your sophisticated vocabulary you should use. as enticing as it may sound to answer her “What is your job?” with your smart-ass answer “I am a street pharmacist.“, it is not good on the long run, it might make her giggle a bit, but mate…you are not her
2-Drop the need to be logical: if you are in a social setting (bar,club,gathering…etc.), then no matter how smart the girl you are talking to, she will have the attention span of a 10 years old with an acute ADD, She wont give you that much time to elaborate much on anything, do not push it.
Overall, girls are emotional and they rarely rely on logic… your chain of thoughts doesn’t have to follow any logical pattern
-like most of my articles 🙂. you can change one subject to another without an existing connection between the two, and the more random you are the better, since this conveys the unpredictable guy effect.
3-drop the… Bond, James Bond act: it is not cool, everyone is doing it. for gods sake you are not James Bond. don’t get all uptight,
butthurt, and serious about everything. let loose, have fun, be childish, fuck around with everyone, do silly things, have a good time, and fuck what everyone think.
4-As I mentioned in point number 1, it is not what you say, it is how you say it… I know, I know, you have heard this trillions of times before, but it is a must that you fully understand it.
when I say, go tell a girl “Hakuna Matata”, it is not what you are saying, it is the energy behind it, when you say something as cheesy as this, say it with the energy of an 8 years old teasing other girls at school, this type of energy is so addictive. how people will react to such silly attempts will depend mostly on you and the law of state transfer, more on that in the tips and tricks section.
Those are the top four mentality switches that you have to get through your head to step up your game. The key here is to be centered, relaxed, and having fun to smoothly and easily pull these off.
B-Tips & Tricks: None of these actually qualifies as ‘tricks’ per Se, but these are some tips that most of the general public are completely oblivious to. It is good to add them to your set of skills as a supreme man.
1- Get Into Specification: “I had a cup of coffee this morning” vs. “I had a warm cup of coffee this morning, it always help me wake up and put me into a productive mood“. I think this one is obvious, whatever you talk about, try to get into details, and especially details related to feelings and emotions. since girls are junkies for emotions, add words that convey some kind of emotion when you are describing anything, it make you more interesting and memorable.
2- Good vibes: I’m going to get this phrase tattooed on my forearm soon.
In short… when you are out having fun, always act as a “good vibes generator”. don’t be a clown, but rather a “good emotions” generator. hold a smirk on your face 24/7. never complain. never put people down. always lift your friends up. always tell people “let’s have an epic night“, “this is going to be fun“. always be excited at the heart. carry the warmth of good vibes with you, spill it on people, and never ever suck positivity from anyone.
3-What you feel, people will feel in return: I have struggled my whole life trying to find a reason for this phenomenon, known as the law of state transfer. it basically says that if you feel happy, everyone around you will get that emotion from you. the one with most intense emotion is the one who will transmit the emotion to others.
The law of state transfer is easily proven, and you can try it for yourself. it is 100% solid, but you just cant explain it. one extreme example of it would be the one about psychopaths, the secret to their superior charming skills is due to their steady comfort level. One major characteristic of a psychopath is having empathy towards everything, he is unable to feel what people are feeling around him, and thus always give off a steady calming effect to people around him regardless of his twisted mind.
He Holds His Frame, more on that in a later article.
law of state transfer becomes useful in case of awkwardness. It is not awkward until you make it -feel the awkwardness yourself awkward, it is always up to you. Come from a place of good vibes, and no matter how awkward the situation is, it will pass as a light humorous one.
4-Never be Reaction Seeking or needy: When you go out with your good vibes attitude, don’t wait for people’s reaction.
You will get tested on whatever mentality you convey to people, stand your ground by not being affected by their reactions. You don’t tell a joke to see people laughing and win their approval, you tell it to amuse yourself, and because it goes with your good vibes attitude. people laughing or not, liking it or not is none of your business…
Never ever be needy. don’t go around latching good emotions from people. don’t wait for people or places to entertain you. You are a walking party filled with good emotions by itself, giving to people and not asking in return.
When you walk up to a girl, don’t come from a place of “Hmm.., let me make my measurable life a little bit better by talking to this girl and snatch some of her good emotions“, but rather “she looks cute, I should go there and rock her night even harder, at the least I can get her to smile and amuse myself along the way“. Hold this attitude in your day-to-day life, with everyone around, and you will be running to conversational supremacy in no time.
5- Be your own clown: yes you read that right. Be your own dancing monkey. Whatever obnoxious ridiculous childish
bullshit you do, you do it for yourself.
When you reach a level of supremacy, when you know you are able to pull any chick any time, it becomes a bit boring… to take a girl back to your place you would need to chat her up for an hour max, and then both of you would be ready to hit it off, but usually the night would still be young, so you have to amuse yourself a bit…
You have no idea how ridiculous and childish I would be when I’m out clubbing or having fun, Me… an owner of a big company with a very promising future. I wear a suit 90% of the time. hang out with investors and bankers all day long, but at night, I’m a
Freakin 10 years old clown who is out to be goofy… I had long conversations with A-list models just telling them how I raise cats for a living, and name every new kitty alphabetically with an extra z at the end for added effect. I drive a fur van, and I have a fetish on the mail man. It is ridiculous, it is fun, and most importantly, it amuse’s me …. when you are successful, you don’t have to pretend to be successful.
Loosen up mate, life is short.
6-Lower your standards: No I don’t mean with girls, but with what you expect out of yourself. Mostly you will be gaming college girls and normal working women, there is nothing wrong with that, but they are normal people, you don’t have to bring your A-game.
Yes, when you are gaming a Victoria secret model, you have to bring your A+++ game, but for a girl at a bar or down the street, you don’t have to. She is there to have fun and so are you, just make sure you leave her better than you have found her, and that’s it.
7-Don’t think ahead: don’t prepare an agenda of what you are going to say. The energy behind it would be low, it will lack passion, and it will come off as canned, creepy and boring… always be in the moment. if you stumble, if you run out of things to say, then just admit it, say “I don’t know why but my mind just went blank!“, and then accuse the girl of throwing some witchcraft on you, it is granted to give you and her a laugh.
How To Talk To Girls.
When you think ahead you lose the sense of what is being communicated in the now, you lose your current momentum, and you cut yourself short.
let us say a girl is telling you about her last trip to Europe, as soon as you hear that, you have the topic of your last trip to the middle east stacked up in your head , and as soon as she finishes talking, you will spill it out to her, and you will miss all the conversation opportunities she had thrown your way during her talk.
Instead, you should ask her about her trip, how it was, her favourite part, the wildest thing she has done, tease her a bit about being a bad girl, then ask her about where she wants to go after… and many more conversation points. After you run out of things to say, you throw that story about your trip to the middle east and BAAAMMM!! you have won hours of conversation material in your pocket.
In Conclusion, the more relaxed you are, the less you care about how people will react to you and the better you will be in leading conversations. The best way to have a long-lasting material to talk about is to live an interesting life filled with amazing adventures.
Read this article multiple times, exercise it with real people and improve yourself, try it on your friends and anyone you feel comfortable talking to, try to maintain a conversation for as long as you can.
In the upcoming article about conversation, I will talk about how to be an advanced conversationalist by charming and getting your body-language on check and finally I will end with the last part of this series which is how to be a supreme conversationalist by applying pauses, manipulating your voice and introducing silent seduction… stay tuned.
It always comes back to you and you only, it is in your hands, stop complaining and go out there, charm the world.