This is the first article in the how to be confident series, and since we are starting to talk about something, the best place to begin is the mentality, so our complete focus today will be on the ins and outs of the confidence mentality.
This series is aimed to remove the mass confusion about confidence since everyone says “be confident“ and yet no one really explains it. For the sake of getting the best out of this article, forget what you have been told about life, at least for now.
How To Be Confident?
Here is an obvious shocker, No one knows the absolute truth, Obama, the Pope, the
freaking Illuminati, no one does.
Probably because absolute truth doesn’t exist – upcoming article about that. People assume truth. Assume what is wrong and what is right, assume it, believe it and build on it.
Of course, there is some common sense about what would most likely be good and what would be bad, but nothing is a fact.
Once you really see that, once you really understand it, you won’t need more articles, Videos, or seminars to reach supreme confidence, be more successful and live life on your own terms.
You will understand how to be confident.
There are no certain facts on what is right or wrong, what you should or shouldn’t do, what is cool or not, and what is your purpose in this life. It is all relative. It is all relative to YOU.
This is your reality, shape it as you want.
The hardest part is to see the confusion, the uncertainty in life. To see what authority is, what rules are, and what idols and role models stood for. It is all man-made simplified assumptions about what is around us and what we have to do. Whoever holds the utmost certainty about his assumption, the one that can make it appeal to the general public, is the one to force his assumption as a reality. That is what we call a Supreme Man.
Humans are followers by nature, that is an observation you can see by yourself. People want/need to be told what to do and what to like by others to remove the confusion.
No one likes to be confused because if you are confused, you are afraid, and that is a big no-no for your brain. You need someone to tell you to do this or that. You need that sense of security.
First, you should understand what confidence by definition is, for you to understand how to be confident.
noun \ˈkän-fə-dən(t)s, –ˌden(t)s\
– a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something
– a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something
When you assume a thought to be (a certain proven reality)
That is the Confidence Mentality.
The possible philosophical outcomes to that scenario are:
You see, it all relies on your assumption and the degree of certainty you hold to it, to determine the level of your confidence. You will be confident in something on both times, the difference comes to where the underlying assumption will lead you.
… I know it might be a little confusing
-way too many “assumption”- but stay with me a bit.
On all possible scenarios, confidence existed, either a positive assumption which leads to being “confident into” a positive outcome or a negative assumption which leads to being “confident into” a negative outcome.
The last case is, the assumption isn’t really 100% positive or negative, but rather “in between”, which leads to the absence of a certain assumption and in turn leads to confusion. – more on that later
… “wait John … where the
fuck are you going with this ?!?! “
OK OK… enough “philosophy” for now
Here is the point to take out of this
If you are short, fat, balding, World of Warcraft addict. Then that is your reality for now – I surely don’t agree with it. Fucking own it, accept it, be proud of it and ASSUME IT to be the coolest fucking thing ever… this will lead you to be more confident in the positive assumption, and what happens next, will likely follow the assumed path.
And that is how to be confident!
Do you know any ugly fat fucker surrounded by hot chicks and people would always take him seriously?
He did exactly what I illustrated so far.
“hold up John ! but he is rich, tall, famous or whatever, that is why he had all that going for him!“
You are right, yet horribly mistaken. He assumed the outcome based on the popular belief of “money gets you the chicks or being tall is all you need … etc.” so what actually helped him wasn’t having money as the physical papers we use to buy stuff, but rather the certainty that he will get what he wants due to having money or looks…etc.
His belief was reinforced and rectified by current society standards and it caused him certainty in his assumption, thus having an already approved positive assumption by current society standards.
A popular belief that having X will get you Y, will be taken as a certainly approved assumption, you gain confidence in such assumptions easily, due to being approved by the masses, and everything follows accordingly.
Your assumptions about yourself shapes your reality, the certainty of that assumption shapes your confidence, and your confidence direction “either positive or negative” shapes the outcomes of these assumptions.
Certainty is the most difficult part of the equation, being certain about something means that you had proof tested it many times and all results gave the same output, that is how we are raised to think and function. We were conditioned to seek external certainty, and that is why humans have a tendency to be basic followers, because whoever is internally certain about his belief, whoever holds the strongest, most grounded assumption, will win the game. he will become “the Wolf” the supreme man, and the rest are the sheep, they just follow along.
I can’t write an article on how to be certain about any unpopular belief, no one can do that for you because that means you have just followed an external source of certainty.
For example, if I said being short will get you chicks more than being tall. You might view me as a supreme source of assumptions, you follow my assumption as a “certain positive assumption”, and you gain confidence in it. after that, you might scroll down to the comments section, and you might read a random comment saying “No!!, being short sucks”. Your certainty will be totally lost or at best will be brutally shaken. because even though you viewed me as the supreme source of validation and the guy in the comment section as just a random whining beta -which is always the case :), we are both an external source of assumptions, the guy and me will always have that in common, and we will both have some degree of influence on your assumption.
… damn !! I actually wanted this to be a short article…
Anyway, to wrap it up. You have to be clear about your situation, improve what you can.
What you can’t change, you must hold a “certain positive assumption” that it is the best thing that happened to you, and it won’t affect you negatively at all, yes .. AT ALL.
To be honest, it is much easier to adapt to a new popular assumption “i.e. douchebag with abs get the chicks” than it is to get a certain positive assumption you assumed by yourself “i.e. being fat is the coolest thing ever!“.
We will leave explaining how you can reach an “I am enough no matter what I am” mentality in a later article.
This is what confidence means in the most basic description, it is the act on the assumption you have to the degree of how certain you are about it. This is what you have to understand to be able to reach supreme confidence, hopefully in the near future.
this is the first part of my answer to the “how to be confident” question.
The assumption is the father of confidence.