I discovered a knowledge gap between what I am explaining here and where most of my readers are at in their social skills.
From the general bulk of emails I am receiving, I have recognized a great deal of you are lacking some basic understanding of interacting with people.
Which is completely fine, since you are seeking to change that.
My goal for MySupremacy.com is not to replace other similar blogs, but rather to add to them.
Keep reading various blogs so you would have a better understanding of the big picture.
In today’s article, I will do some kind of “Brain-Dump” to some of the things you need to understand to build a foundation for supreme social skills.
I will just discuss the underlying basics of social interactions in no particular format.
I just finished writing this article and realized I should’ve made it into a podcast topic rather than a written article.
It is very poorly formatted, So excuse me for that and hope you find it helpful.
Social connection is an important factor in our survival as a human species, even in modern-day society.
As an individual, you are born with pre-built social connections within your family, then you are encouraged to expand it to include your relatives, school, and neighborhood.
So, according to this model, you are limited to people within your family, their related connections, and the people in your recurring geographical locations.
This is how it is for everyone, everywhere!
That is how our society functions.
For some reason, the great minds of our generation decided to skip teaching people how to create social connections without any relevant context to justify that connection.
And this is one of the purposes of MySupremacy.com.
To teach you how to break free from those limitations.
What if I was born with no siblings in a small family and was home schooled my whole life?
Am I screwed then?
Will I only meet a handful of people in my life and that’s it?
No, we want you to know how to be a social rockstar where ever you are regardless of your background.
It takes a lot of practice and knowledge to reach a place where you can establish cool social circles out of thin air.
But it is one of the most profitable skill set to have.
So yes, it is worth it.
Now let’s start with understanding the social dynamics of any and every social interaction.
It is always, ALWAYS a value exchange.
Only “small-talk” defies this rule, and that is exactly why it is generally frowned upon, feels awkward and hurts your relationship with that person more than anything.
Because it is a bunch of nonsense and lacks any real exchange.
Now there are various types of values that people exchange through their interactions.
And today we are focusing on the most important of these values.
When you are completely aware of exactly what kind of emotions you are exchanging with the other person while maintaining complete detachment from your environment.
Holy fuck you can get people to do anything!
This topic deserves an article on its own, but I will briefly touch on two important points here:
1- How to become aware of that?
Experience, and only experience.
Long awkward repetitions of various social interactions under various contexts.
I can explain some of the cues to look for, but detecting the emotional state of a person in front of you and tweaking it as you want is based very much on the culture.
It took me a good 4 months to figure out the german culture.
It needs practice.
2- How to look at the emotions you are communicating
I was reading a book called How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie.
It is one of the top-selling books in the whole world.
I think it is surely a good read, but…
They should rename it to ” How to be likable and unremarkable”
Maybe it will get you friends, but I will donate my precious –
Penis 🙂 – if it ever makes you influence anyone, ever.
The whole premise of the book is to stick to making people feel good in every way possible without even considering if they deserve it or not.
It makes you supplicate to people, it makes you the nice guy that no one hates, but no one really loves.
Ordinary people do not influence, only the outliers do.
This book, along with most of the advice found on the internet will get you to be the guy whom everyone likes at most, who get a lot of “Hey man what is up?” and everyone thinks of as the nice sweet guy.
Which is fine, but not really desirable.
I definitely prefer to be the guy who when he walks in a street, one will say “Gosh! I really wanna punch him in the face, such a fucking asshole!“, another will say “Hey man, what is up?” and another will be stunned and tensed just by seeing him.
That is how I would want the reactions to be.
I am not for everyone.
I don’t like to think of myself as an asshole, even with all the mounting evidence that I am in fact a jerk :).
I do preach “Good Vibes” a lot, I believe in it so much that it is tattooed on my body.
I do try to leave people better than I found them.
But, I have a very low tolerance for bullshit, and I make it known.
Here is the thing, when I say make people feel good, I mean it as in making people smile or feel happy for a moment with a minor investment from your side and no expectations of anything in return.
You do that to cashiers, delivery guys, people down the street, people passing by in a party, the bus driver.. etc.
Always try to make these people happy.
Why the fuck not?
When it comes to a complete interaction where there is a value exchange between parties, then that is a different matter.
When you let someone into your life, when you give them a piece of your time, your attention and even a piece of yourself.
Then they have to live up to certain standards.
And an equal investment in you and the interaction is one of those standards.
The more you invest in an interaction the less the other will.
It is a fact, it is a law.
Divide any interaction between people into percentages. If one part is giving 70% the other can only provide 30%… and so on.
And that is a real problem.
I actually don’t know why this happens.
Even if you like a girl and she starts investing too much in you, you will no longer really like her and vice versa.
The thing is, once you invest a certain % in someone, you can not turn back.
It is over, the dynamics between these parties are fucked for life.
Well, not always, you can fix it.
But it is not worth the energy and the time to do so, so you should just move on.
Once you feel you are investing way more than the other party, whether it is a friend a girlfriend or whatever.
Drop the whole thing and move on.
More on that later.
Back to feelings that you have to elicit in people.
I am not really following any kind of formula or script here, just letting my brain flow.
So excuse the wondering points.
There is like a zillion way to categories emotions.
But to make the matter simple, let us think of emotions under very simple categories.
Like positive and negative emotions.
Or aggressive and submissive emotions… etc.
Now think of all the emotions on a 3D scale consisting of:
3- Uniqueness, for the lack of a better term.
To break it down:
The more categories of emotions you evoke in someone, the more you own them.
Yes, in the manipulative and dark meaning.
If you can take someone on a wave of very contrasting and intense emotions.
You own them.
They will be literally hooked on you.
It is scarcely easy to do.
And you can bet your fucking balls that I will never teach this kind of stuff here or anywhere else.
It can break and destroy people.
Think I am exaggerating?
Think of a pimp-prostitute relationship.
Or the abusive boyfriend/husband.
These girls are hooked on them like crack cocaine.
Because they made them experience the various corners of their emotions.
And once you let something take you on such a trip, your mind kinda surrender and submit to them.
Because it feels like they have full control over you.
Along with many fucked up and dark psychological reasons.
There are various other examples to this, even you and I might be under the influence of such manipulation.
To end this point, don’t hit or abuse anyone, ever.
Now, the more categories of emotions you can make someone feel, the more they are hooked on you.
The more intense these emotions are (Think happiness vs euphoria) the more you stand out from anyone else.
And finally, the uniqueness of the feelings you can make someone experience are what makes you more influential and memorable to that person.
What does all of this have to do with getting laid, getting a girlfriend and getting friends?
Well, as I said.
Every interaction is a value exchange.
Now, you can exchange your money, your time, your energy… etc. with someone in return for something.
But all that is easily replaceable.
You can only be irreplaceable when you offer an emotional experience.
And people ever so rarely do that.
Most people offer one of the above-mentioned things (Money, Time, Energy) in exchange for having friends and relationships… etc.
It can be acceptable only in friendships.
But if you build a relationship based on exchanging those things, it is a recipe for a disaster.
That is why most relationships fail.
Here is the scenario for 99% of relationships.
And I do mean 99%
A guy will exchange some of his money, time and energy into a girl in hopes of getting sex and some of her time and energy.
Sex, cuddling, and daily emotional situations will fill the emotional need gap for a while.
Until sex starts fading out, cuddling becomes meaningless and the daily emotional situations are unable to hold the connection between these two people and then everything falls apart.
Most relationships end after about one year.
It is then that both parties are over each other, but they will not separate just yet.
Out of habit and comfort, they will stick together.
Just like chewing a gum that has lost its flavor, it starts to taste bitter but out of habit, you keep chewing on it.
I will soon write an article on relationships, even though I particularly suck at those.
But I can offer some tips on maintaining a healthy connection between two people.
Now you know what emotions and your ability to control them have to do with getting and maintaining a girlfriend.
Emotions could be what you offer, what you bring to the table in a relationship.
What about friendship?
It is not as necessary in friendships because people are mostly interested in each others time and presence to socialize and that is about it.
But you should be aware not to communicate many negative emotions. if you do so you will alienate the group and no one will want to hang out with you.
And what about getting laid?
I actually learned and developed all this just for the sake of this one 🙂
It is the key to having an insanely active sexual life, and lots and lots of one night stands.
I will focus on one night stands for today’s article.
I think that short sexual interaction between the male and the female A.K.A One Night Stand is widely misunderstood.
1- People define it completely wrong: If you knew someone from a social circle and have met and chatted multiple times before, and then you hooked up, that is not a fucking one night stand.
A one night stand is when you take a total stranger home and proceed to fuck their brain out.
2- People think that only a certain type of girls are down for it: commonly referred to as the drunk club whores.
Which is false.
Yes, it does happen more often with club girls because:
A- The setting is much easier to allow for sexual escalation
B- Guys who are really good at this won’t normally waste their time searching for a girl in the daytime since girls will be fairly scattered at that time, and so they go to clubs since it is an environment dense with hot girls.
C- You do not need high social skills in the clubs since the alcohol and the environment do the job of easing the girls mind and making their wild side kick in. And no, I did not mean that you should get the girl drunk or even take the already drunk girl home. I never did and will never do that.
Not because of fear of the rape card. Fuck, I have been accused of rape from girls that never touched alcohol nor did they ever touch me, so I am way past that fear.
I have been accused of rape from girls that never touched alcohol nor did they ever touch me, so I am way past that fear.
And not because I am this white knight and female rights activists who want what is best for the precious female gender. Fuck no, I want EVERYONE to be safe, regardless of their gender, and I want EVERYONE to be held responsible for their choices – getting drunk – regardless of the gender.
I am developing this ability to foresee the hordes of angry emails coming from the dear feminists accusing me of being a misogynist and so on. 🙂 They are quite entertaining to read but still they are a waste of my time.
So, dear angry feminists, please save us both the trouble and better understand what I am preaching here.
Why I and you shouldn’t sleep with drunk girls?
A- Because it is easy as fuck: Just go out 3 times a week and stand in the corner of a big club until the night ends without falling out drunk on your face, and a drunk girl will come by and take you home.
B- Most importantly, It is not fun, at all. It is the opposite of fun, it is lame, boring, creepy and a host of other negative shit.
Back to the point of people thinking that a one night stand is for a certain type of girls.
It is not.
The sweetheart and shy Suzy will be down for a one night stand.
Hell, I can pull one out of a church.
To better understand this before you lose your mind due to the many side points this article have.
Let us take this well-known fact.
They say that marriage is an assurance of less sex.
And it is quite known and well agreed on everywhere.
Why is that?
It is because marriage and long relationships are the soul killer of the number one reason people fornicate 🙂 in this world.
Tension is what gets most people laid.
Ok, I will have to get all over the place to explain this point, so bear with me.
99% of people get laid because of the tension that arises between two strangers alone in a private place.
That tension is what turns women on.
Not the only thing that turns them on, but it is a huge oven warmer for women.
This tension of two strange people in a place where anything could happen is what starts the ball rolling in the girls mind, and then all the guy has to do is lead her all the way to sex.
Why is that?
Why is tension so arousing for women?
I have read a study somewhere that women displayed more sexual arousal to strangers than the men in their lives.
I will put the link to the study as soon as I find it.
You can easily observe and prove this Phenomenon.
Yet I have never read any actual explanation to it.
But I came up with a very convincing explanation for why this might be.
This explanation is my own – John Deus TM.
You are free to either believe or dismiss it completely.
The reason goes back to evolutionary psychology.
It is because of
Assuring Genetical Variation and reducing inbreeding.
Because a stranger represents a new genetical pool.
An already known man in a woman’s life (which she feels no tension towards anymore) could be a brother or a relative.
Hence, the insane similarity between friend zoned guys and brothers.
That is the real reason behind the friend zone.
Commonality and absence of tension.
A tension arises mostly because the man is still a stranger to the woman.
And her biology pushes her toward getting turned on because of the possibility of passing valuable genes and getting healthy children out of it; given the fact that the guy had already demonstrated his worthiness of passing his own genes and assuring the survival of his breed.
Now we as men do not really relate to this because we think that women are turned on the same way we are.
But that is far from the truth.
Men are always horny, ALWAYS.
Men really just need a place to have sex.
But women operate differently.
Women are always thinking of sex. More than most of you would imagine.
But the funny thing is that they actually dry up and stop being horny when an undesirable guy shows up, for them to get back into dirty fantasies once they are alone again.
If a girl is able to hold the same ideas she has when she is alone to when she goes out to public places.
Then she will fuck any and every guy around.
That is why we always say that the game is not impressing, it is more of just not fucking up.
The girl is somehow already horny and down for sex, just make sure you do not dry her out.
I know I am getting off topic a lot here, but these are points worth mentioning.
Now there are other ways to turn women on than using tension.
But I will end this article only explaining how to use tension for getting laid and save the rest for another article.
Now I already demonstrated the reason tension plays such a role.
let us apply it to some scenarios.
You meet a girl at a party.
You start confidently chatting her up and instantly the tension rises.
So far so good.
You, as most guys, try to remove the tension by using humor or trying to create comfort between the two of you.
Now this happens because, In a man’s world, tension means confrontation which will likely lead to an aggressive reaction.
Thus, the so-called nice guys always try to evade and remove that tension by using certain tactics.
Now you know why bad boys are instinctively good with women.
Becuase they do not give a fuck about that tension, if not love to amplify it.
The guy who is always caught up in fights gets laid a lot for the same reason he was caught up in this many fights in the first place.
The way he handles that tension.
He is not submissive to that tension, but rather a generator of more tension.
I hope by this point there are fireworks going out inside your brain connecting all the dots between how everything that will create an aggressive tension between two guys will make a girl wet.
Strong eye contact, display of dominance, being loud… etc.
It all makes sense now right?
Damn, I am so good!
Now you understand that you shouldn’t let that tension subside but rather you have to play with it.
But again, too much tension and you will no longer be relatable to the girl.
Too little and you won’t do it for her.
I am just touching on the topic now, I will explain it in details in another article.
I have been all over the place with this article, it is just a brain dump from my side to explain the holes that most of you have in understanding the game from behind the curtains.
I think it is worth it to reread it multiple times to understand everything here.
I know it is somehow –
very – badly written and needs a lot of revising.
And I apologize for that, I am insanely busy these days but at the same time I want to provide you guys with valuable information to help you improve your lives.
If you need any explanation to any sticking point please write it in the comments, or send me an e-mail to [email protected]
I am here to help.
Also, please go follow me on Instagram it would be hella cool if you did.
[…] On getting a girlfriend, getting laid and your social skills […]
John, for this article only I’d give you a Phd in Behavioral Sciences. You basically nailed down the formula of “men from mars women from venus” nonsense (have no better way to describe it)
A pleasure to read as always, even it a bit messy. Keep those coming.
Thank you Mark.
I know, editing articles isn’t really my thing .
Wow this is one of the most dense articles i have ever read.
Man you should start a youtube channel, or start giving seminars!
looking forward for your next one
Another great article! Waiting for the next one.
Have you ever read a book about emotional intelligence? Would you advise one?
Thank you so much for all those informations.
Cheers from Italy! 😀
I did read many books on emotional intelligence, I am currently living next to a university with a kick ass library and I try to go there whenever I get the chance.
I am getting asked for book recommendations alot so I will save it for an article.
This is pure gold! You share with us so much valuable content that others would want an exchange for it. For me personally, you’re Odin from Valhalla of PUAs. What i like about what you’re doing is that you’re not teaching us just one method of how to get laid and just stick to it, even if it doesn’t suit us, but the fact that you teach us how to become a better version of ourselves.
P.S: We want you on YouTube!
P.S2: I hope that i expressed myself well.
Thanks for a great comment.
I will be looking into possibilities for a YouTube channel.
I’m commenting on this blog the second time. I think that this article is great but one part really turned me off. Right after : “To break it down.” it sounded like a edgy teen took over the keyboard. But the rest waas good so im glad that i red that.
Thanks for the feedback, much appreciated.
I do agree that I came off a little too aggressive on that part.
I am a strong believer of what I said and I stand behind it, but I think my wording was a bit misfortunate.
I hope you found some useful information there!
This kind of art is produced when an experienced artist pours out his knowledge while writing!RESPECT
I’m really happy I stumbled upon your website (most websites are too general, or they are just a bit too extreme – you’re a practical, honest middle-ground). I was recently feeling hopeless and depressed, and realized I was simply reinforcing my negativity (I was actually feeling a lot better last year), and I wasn’t allowing myself to enjoy life as I should. You said that you’d like to see more comments on your website, rather than emails, so I decided to post here instead.
I feel like I have a lot of potential, but I need to do something. I have a lot of self-limiting beliefs, and issues that I do actually need to address. I’m pretty overweight (I believe I will be able to fix this though, as I lost a stone and a half last summer, and believe I can lose a lot more), I have a pretty evident receding hairline (I’m just about 20, so this is worrying), and I’m not very tall (5’7.5″). To me, the height is the hardest thing to overcome because I can’t do anything about it, and it really is something that women *really* want. In terms of social skills, I don’t go out a lot, but I think I’m pretty good at talking to people, and a lot of people do find me very funny. However, I do get pretty nervous around women I don’t know which kind of negates this a bit (kind of sucks because of the tension you were talking about in your article being so effective), and I’m very self-conscious (mostly due to the issues I’ve outlined). Blah, blah, you’ve probably heard all this stuff before.
[***The important part***]
My questions would be as such:
– I’m training to be a video-game programmer – should I own this, or just tell women I work with computers (kind of sets the tone of the conversation)?
– For comparison, roughly how tall are you (it’s if you don’t want to answer that, that’s fine), and whether you’ve found that this is realistically a deal breaker for most women (you’ve probably talked to a lot guys about this).
I’m currently in my second year of a 4-year college course, and I’m going to be in a house next year with some friends. I want to be ready, get laid, party, and just … live, and go on the right path. Thanks for the articles, and the extra help if you reply!
While you’re waiting for his reply check out his confidence series
http://mysupremacy.com/best-articles/ it mentions issues such as height.
P.s video-game programmer sounds awesome as fuck
Thanks for the link, Dom. Being a programmer is cool, but it can be a lot of hard work. I’m glad I’m studying it though.
Side-note: there is virtually no women, as in, there’s one. lol, it’s so stereotypical.
Thanks for helping him.
I hope you all understand how tight my time is.
I will work on getting more time dedicated to the blog.
Glad you like my work.
I can tell you that being X doesn’t matter and give a compelling case and at the same time I could tell you that being X does matter and give another compelling case.
It won’t make a difference.
Your brain doesn’t get the idea by reading it, your brain gets it from experience.
Just like the saying “give your brain proof not promises”
Now if you look around you will see more cases proofing that women want a tall rich jacked guy.
Which is correct theoretically.
The thing is, that is what most men are able to offer.
It is like buying a laptop.
If they all come with the same specifics and price, you will pick the coolest looking one.
The same goes for women.
What you are able to offer a woman now is the same as any other guy.
Now I explained that emotional ride is the most precious thing you can offer but that needs a lot of work to master .
Even with your current situation you can still have a wicked sex life and a cool girlfriend.
But it is much easier and profitable to improve yourself to match with some of societies standards so you won’t get that much shit thrown your way and you won’t have to wash your brain that much.
I talked about insecurities in other articles, and will go in depth about each and every single one of them soon.
For now, it is great that you are aware of your flaws and that you are determined to fix them.
Workout and make money.
That is the shortest path to change your life.
To answer your question specifically will need even a longer reply so please write me on my email.
To end it,
Understand that we live in a very “Hipsterish” time where the standard “good-looking people fucking” is getting boring and people are looking for the outliers of that.
And this is one great rule in life.
You can buy a pussy but never a wet pussy.
It is one thing to sleep with a lot of girls and another thing to have girls wanting you badly.
Your good looks will never take you further than a girl wanting to sleep with you. And believe me she does it because she wants the validation of sleeping with a good-looking guy.
But game, it is what will get you to having sex with girls that are about to rip your clothes off.
Strive for the later.
Ans thank the gods that you were nit born winning the genetic lottery. Because if you did, you will never have this fire pushing you to reach supremacy.
Why do I feel like I am reading someone else other than John? John did you get someone else to write this cos it doesn’t have that raw energy to it. It’s too brushed up. Too professional that I don’t feel like I am connecting the same way I did last year. Hope you see my point cos its loosing that unique, unapologetic touch. Just saying. Still an avid reader (even though I no longer believe this)
I don’t think anyone else wrote this…even if anyone else did I don’t blame john he is a world traveller he hardly gets any free time and in his free time all he does is fuck chicks and answer out questions in email….I respect him for that..
I count my time “fucking chicks” as working hours 🙂
No, every word in here is written by me.
I will get more writers on board but they will write under there own unique name.
I do understand what you are talking about.
I think that when I started this blog I did not think that it will get this big this quickly.
I just thought that I want to help a couple of people out and share some of my ideas.
But well, mysupremacy.com grow so freaking fast which is amazing but at the same time it pressures me to appeal to more wider audience by brushing up my articles.
Which is something that I don’t like, the more this blog is growing the more I am getting caught up in making the articles more professional and so on.
To be honest, it is all coming from my ego.
I guess if the blog and my online persona “john deus” keep growing at the same pace then John Deus will be even more popular than my real identity.
Which is completely fucked up since I worked on creating J.Deus for a year while I am creating my real identity since birth.
But I think the self validation junkie of myself like that alot.
My ego is fighting for more validation.
I will try my best to keep my signature up regardless of how much I am pressured to pursue fame.
Thanks for the notice.
1- first of all. I’ve been following your blog for a while, it is absolutely the best, you are genuine, thats a rare thing to find especially online, since people tell you what you wanna hear to get money.
2- Its awesome you have this desire to help other people, you seem to be a great person, you said you were fighting your ego and the desire for validation, its ok to like validation, everyone wants to be liked, we are social creatures, people that say they don’t give a shit for what anyone thinks are most of the time liars, some people matter to you, you are not less genuine.
3- I’m curious to know how tall you are (don’t get me wrong, but feeling the pain yourself is not the same as seeing other people having that pain and comment about it, its like a rich guy that was never poor saying that beeing poor is no excuse), when talking about height, the subject is kind of sensitive for me at least, im a 5’3” guy barefooted, 25 years old, I have a good looking face, I work out, but still the height thing is not that easy to let go, I don’t like admiting it, I don’t want to make myself a victim, but its fucking hard sometimes, it is a fact that 5’3” is a big turn off. Sometimes I think “I wish I was taller, why did this happened to me?” and I start to go to the negative side, then I think “what the hell, There are a lot of people worse than me, people that are fighting for their lives, and im here crying for my height” wich makes me feel like an asshole and weak and not supeme. I never had a girlfriend, I have flirted a lot with girls, some flirt back but can’t seem to make that extra step, when ever I do They seem to loose interest and I can’t stop thinking that its beacause im short, I think I would just like to hear woman say: “its ok, I don’t mind you being short”
anyways, Thank you for all your work man 😉 cheers
I saw your comment asking me to delete this one, but I decided to keep it since it doesn’t reveal your identity and I think it might be helpful to others.
You also said in the other comment that you shouldn’t have opened up and this is not a place to open up which is completely far from the truth, this IS a place for men to open up and express their emotions and get support.
AS men, we don’t get such luxury often because nature has no place for cry babies.
Still, life gets difficult and sometimes you need to get off something out of your chest and get some guidance on what to do next.
And we are here for that!
Now, coming to your email:
1- Thank you.
2- Validation that you get from the outside is bad, very bad because eventually it will stop. And by the laws of our hilarious universe, you will lose the external validation when you need it the most, and that will take you into a dark a horrible tailspin until you realize that it was a bad idea to rely on it. And that all ties up to your ego, the more validation you get the bigger your ego will grow. You will feel how bad your ego will hurt you when it gets irritated due to some events in your life, like let’s say you get a “broken heart” because your girl dumped you.
Now your soul will get viciously raped because you really loved her and didn’t want to lose her and what not, and your pain will be 1000X worse because that event gave your ego a raw and a harsh slap. So yea, if you had your ego under control, the whole experience would be a lot less awful.
More on that later.
3- Oh yeah, the height problem.
I will dedicate a complete article for this, but believe I understand your pain.
It has so many things to it, and it can be fixed both internally and externally.
But for now, I will leave you with this….
Do what you can with what you have and harden the fuck up.
When things don’t go your way, blame only what you can change and improve.
There is a stage you can reach where nothing matters, not your look or your height or your money or or… aim to go there.
That is what we call the 1% or the Supreme Men.
The most valued gift a human being can give another human being is the ability and oportunity for self improvement, thats what you do here. Thats what more people should be doing.
P.S. Dont know if you know this but “Deus” in Portuguese, and probably other languages means God
Wow, very eye opening!