How To Have A One Night Stand?
Here it is, the complete guide to getting a one night stand in a night club
I will tell you EXACTLY how to start a conversation with a girl, get her attracted to you, jump over all the obstacles in your way and finally, end the night in some awesome and enjoyable sex.
I will explain how to have a one night stand in the shortest way possible, giving only the most beneficial information on every point, and link it to other articles that will fully explain that certain point.
You do not need any other article to understand how to have a one night stand after this one.
This article will cover absolutely EVERYTHING On how to get a one night stand in a night club.
How To Have A One Night Stand?
1- Where to go?
The colosseum of one night stands is Night Clubs.
Night clubs are made for that reason, not that reason alone, but it is the bigger part of the equation, it is the drive, the motivator of clubbing.
Sure, have fun, drink, and dance with friends, but after all the night club is a sexual market.
Even if you are not going there for sex, you will still compare and judge other, judge their look, clothes, dancing, choice of drinks, partners, friends, height, etc.
In short, their sexual appeal, you will judge their sexual appeal.
Or at least assist your sexual appeal from the reaction you get over there.
So my point is made, Clubs are the hookup heaven.
Having that in mind, I will structure this article to simulate situations in night clubs, all these situations are still applicable anywhere else, but I will focus my scenarios to cover the situations in night clubs, bars or any place with loud music, alcohol, and lots of people.
Get this point straight, the best place to be if you are looking for a one night stand is a night club, especially if you are still new to this.
If you hate clubbing, then read this, it might help you.
2- How to start your night?
So you get it by now, the place to be to get a one night stand is a night club.
After you choose one that is close to where you live, isn’t full of guys with only one girl around and is pretty fun and enjoyable, you decide to go.
Cool, now what?
The night starts way before you leave your house.
A couple of hours before you leave, make sure to take a shower, clean your room for the after party 😉
Put on your best clothes, nothing over the top, just following the normal dress code of the place you are going to – yes, I am against peacocking.
If you are going alone, that’s cool. if you are going with some friends then do a pre-party, drink something light, beer maximum, DO NOT GET DRUNK.
Overall, make sure that you spend the couple of hours before hitting the club in a bit exciting, fun and full of energy atmosphere, if you were alone, play some music to hype you up, or some movie that has a character that is really cool and energetic, something like Crazy stupid love, Van wilder or of the similar, or a TV show like Two and a half men- before it turned into that abomination after sheen left.
3- How to start conversations?
This is the point where most people get stuck at, how to open?
Here you are, standing in a club with some cool clothes on, some nice perfume, and body full of energy, what do you do now?
Well, you talk to people.
You talk to anyone and everyone.
Guy, girl, old, young, bartender, bouncer, etc.
What do you say?
Hi, Hallo, what’s up, Hackoona Matata… Who gives a fuck!
I do not know how did opening get this much importance, there are people out there with nothing on their mind other than figuring out the perfect opener.
Why do you think it is that important?
Do you think that the girl will hear what you will say right when you start talking to her? Do you think she will process your perfect line over the loud music, hectic people, and the anxiety of this dude standing inches from her and trying to tell her something?
Do you think that is an important part of your interaction?
The opening is not important AT ALL!
There has never been a time in my life where a girl said to me ” Damn John, when you told me did it hurt when you fell from heaven, I just ignored the rest of the night and wanted to fuck you just because of this very creative line, damn, so sexy!”
This never and will never happen.
It is just one line, get over it.
I know that your mind might go blank when you see a hot girl, we have all been there.
If you can’t come up with something to say about what she is wearing, about the club, about the people around or whatever, just say hi, a simple hi is all you need.
Fun Fact: My Opener through most of my time in Germany was ” Sprechen Sie Englisch? “
Which literally means, do you speak English…
Wow, what a glorious opener.
I do speak German, but I just do not resonate with it, I just do not feel genuine when I speak german and thus I choose to speak English, it would feel more free flowing and fun.
And even if the girl doesn’t speak English, I would follow up with “Schade” – my favorite german word btw – which means ” damn ” and go on with my weird german accent talking about whatever.
That is how it is, the opener means nothing.
With time, the more you do this and the more comfortable you become talking to strangers out of the blue, you will start to come up with some very amazing and cool openers without thinking about it, it will be like magic.
I did many times start a conversation with a girl or a group of girls and right after I said my “opener” I would stand there in silence just to appreciate the gold that just came out of my mouth.
You will get there, just go out there and experiment.
So there you are, in the club, you start talking to people, to everyone.
Maybe just say hi to everyone or just a simple smile at everyone, it will be awkward and it will feel awkward, but it will feel better with time.
You have to understand that the more you think about it the harder it will get.
Go in there, see a group or someone you want to talk to and just leg it, just fucking walk there, you will figure out the rest on the way.
No thinking, no assessments, just go there and say anything, a simple hi will do.
No perfect opener, no perfect situation, just go there and deal with it as it happens.
You will never, ever know how it will go, so why bother?
Go over there and find out.
Maybe she is with someone, maybe she is a lesbian, maybe, maybe, maybe.
How would you know?
go there and find out.
4- How to be that confident?
So there you are, in the club, with the nice clothes and everything.
You know that you have to just walk up to people and talk to them, but you are afraid.
You do not want to come off creepy, you want to be cool and confident, how do you do that?
My remedy for that is to go to a night club all by yourself, go super early, damn, before the bouncers even get in there, and stay there until it closes.
Just sit there, by yourself, sober as fuck and just observe what is happening, just watch the chaos.
It will feel, creepy, and it will be creepy because you are literally being that creepy guy standing in the corner just looking around.
But fuck it, it is a social experiment mother fuckers, you are a social scientist and you want to understand the complexity of the social equilibrium between the two sexes in a dark, drunk and chaotic atmosphere!
Fuck yeah! social experiment.
After that night, the epiphany you will discover is that there are no cool people in the club.
And no one cares about that.
No one cares who is cool and who is creepy, who looks like what and who is wearing what, everyone is just too drunk, and too hyped to give a damn.
It is a dark, loud and filled with drunk people, your coolness or smooth opener, ain’t nobody got time to notice that.
It is not as coming off as cool or creepy, it is about an interaction between two people that is aimed at transferring enough information to generate lust in both parties and then working on making the release of the lust energy happen.
Do not be cool, go there and try shit out, you can try as many things as you want, there is no limit to how many times you can try things.
The fuck ups and the wins do not define you as a person nor as a man, they mean nothing.
Go all out, have fun.
5-How to lead the interaction?
So you are there at the club, dressed nicely, you smell nice, you know you have to talk to girls, you know that it doesn’t matter what you say first and you just go for it because, fuck it, in this environment who gives a fuck about how I will come off!
You go there, you say hi to a hot girl, she looks back at you and says hi, now what?
It is not important what you say at first, but it is a bit important how you lead the interaction because, in the end, you want to know her deeply, you want to be registered as a potential mate in her mind, not a chat buddy.
You want to excite her and yourself.
How do you do that?
You set the frame early on in the interaction, you define the conversation as a man to woman.
It is ok to have just a light chat with someone you are not attracted to sexually, but it is not ok to do that to someone you are attracted to sexually, that is bad for you and for the other part.
Trying to just have an under the radar chat with her as a friend just to protect your ego or wish that some miracle happens that will make you both bone is both a scammy behavior and damaging behavior to you as a person.
Do not mask, run away or try to hide what you really want.
Never, ever hide your interest in a girl, never make it way too obvious, but never hide it as well.
She has to know that you are attracted to her, and you think of her as a woman and yourself as a man.
The sooner in the interaction the better.
If you try to hide the fact that you like her or that you are attracted to her, she will know it, and the more you try to hide it the more she will lose respect for you.
Fuck it, be shameless about it.
You are a man, there is nothing wrong with you, you are enough, and you like women, why would you hide it?
6- How to set the frame?
So you are there standing in the club, all dressed up and shit, you know you have to talk to girls, you got over the fact that you need to do that, and you have the needed confidence to walk up and say hi.
You walked up, said hi, she said hi back, you know that know you have to set the interaction to be “man to woman”, but how do you do that?
Well, be physical, develop sharp eye contact, and don’t try to kiss ass.
Be physical from the get go, don’t get all handsy trying to grope her and do not hide your hands in your pocket.
Start touching the appropriate areas and work you way up while paying extra attention to how comfortable she is with your touch, if she is uncomfortable, take your hands off, step back and try to see where you made her uncomfortable.
Read here for a better guide on physicality.
Develop a strong eye contact, everything she wants to know she will get from your eyes, they are very important.
Have a grounded, awake and confident eye contact, read more on that here.
And finally, do not kiss her ass, do not be that yes man who agrees with her on every point, instead, challenge her, disagree with her on stuff, even just for the fun of it, just to tease her off. Do not be afraid of confrontation, do not think that just because you do not like something she does or vice versa she will just walk away.
Pay attention to your voice tone, do not be that excited squeeze guy who speaks in very high tones, lower your voice bitch, speak confidently and more grounded.
As RSD Julian said once, try to speak to the ground with your tonality, when you speak imagine you voice going down to the gorund at the end and not up in the air.
Be commanding and challenging.
Lower your voice pitch and work on developing a sexy voice.
7-How to create attraction?
So there you are standing in a club all dressed up trying to chat girls, you understand the importance of creating a man to woman interaction, you work on touching her, looking her in the eye, and be somewhat of a challenge to her, now what?
How do you make her attracted to you?
In short, attraction is the result of having a stronger reality than the girl.
And it works vice versa.
That is why confidence, fame, social proof and such are very seductive to women.
How can you apply this to your life? how can you be that seductive?
I hate that advice and I think it is probably one of the worst advice anyone could give because of how ambiguous and unclear it is.
What I mean by being yourself is to be completely out there, don’t hold anything back.
Be out there, with all your opinions, what you like, what you don’t like, what you are passionate about and so on.
Do not try to make your reality closer to her, that means your reality is weak and unworthy.
You are who you are regardless of the people in your life, their opinion of you or of anything you like.
Be grounded in your reality, that is the essence of attraction.
Now you got the essence of attraction and how to make her attracted to you, is that enough?
She should be attracted AND COMFORTABLE.
8-How to make her comfortable with you?
making a girl comfortable with you is very related to having her attraction for you.
It is also about being out there.
When you show her everything you are, with your goofy sides and your weird sides, she gets both attracted and comfortable around you.
It is very important to make the girl feel that you will never judge her on anything she does.
You should be this judgment-free, neediness-free and safe space for her.
If you can achieve that, you can look like the guy from Friday the 13 and still get one night stands left and right.
Comfort is about trust, about making her know that you will not judge and about being completely free of neediness.
9- How to get rid of neediness?
So there you are in a club, well dressed and looking, cool, chatting the hottest girl there, you are being yourself and being completely authentic, you are physical with her and she loves it, but there is this little bit of you that just cares too much about what will happen and how she feels about you.
There is this little bit of you that is worried she will not like you or the night won’t end up with sex, how do you lose that?
Stop caring about the outcome, stop caring what will happen next, and just focus on the now, focus on having fun at the moment.
Here is a fact, you can never ever control the outcome of your interactions, NEVER.
You can get so good that you can almost control the outcome, but never fully control it.
And you will never ever be able to control it consciously, the best you can do is that your energy and vibe will lead the way, not your thoughts.
Whenever I go out to a club with the conscious goal of getting laid, it never works.
Your mind will fuck you up, do not go there, let things play out naturally.
But when I go out with the conscious thought of having fun and chatting random people, not making them like me or see how cool I am, just chatting them and having fun, it always works, I end up having a one night stand that day.
With time, you will realize that this dance of seduction and your mad ability to chat with people and just enjoy your moment far surpass the enjoyment of sex.
Sex is sex, predictable, redundant.
You interactions are fun, random, unpredictable and exciting.
LOSE THE ATTACHMENT TO THE OUTCOME OF YOUR INTERACTIONS, JUST ENJOY THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE.
Whatever happens at the end, let it be, you did your thing.
So there you are, chatting the girl, being completely authentic, being physical with her, she is loving her time with you and you absolutely do not give a fuck how this will end, now what?
10- Stop, pull back, relax and enjoy the rest of the night.
After your opener, initial conversation, teasing, touching and so on, you will feel that she is letting her guards and down and just enjoy your presence.
Her eyes will look different, she will get closer to you, get touchy herself, etc. At that point you should just relax, stop talking too much, let her touch you more, and you touch her less, remove all of your attention from her and just take a step back.
Do not make her feel that you are losing attraction to her, just let her start doing the work to get that attention back from you.
It is very critical that you keep this on and off dynamic, do the work, put yourself out there and do all these things, then step back relax and let her do her thing to gain that attention back from you, so on and so forth.
Try to isolate her, move her along with you to the club, go to the bar or outside to get fresh air, let that vibe of you two in your own reality grow.
But during that, let her do most of the talking and investing in the interaction, let her put work in the interaction.
Let her invest both emotionally and physically, let her tell you she enjoys your company, let her buy you a drink for a change, etc.
So there you are, chatting the girl, being physical and everything, getting her attracted to you by being out here completely and just expressing yourself freely, you step back, relax and watch her try to gain your full attention again, you keep pushing and pulling, teasing and having fun, and you are sure she likes you, she even told you that!
Is it over now, should you just ask her to come to your place?
NO, not yet, now you have to figure out what you are dealing with, you have to know what will her day looks like tomorrow, who is she within the club now, you have to plan the logistics.
11- How to plan logistics?
So far, even if she likes you and all, you have not registered in her mind as an actual human just yet.
Clubs are like the wonderland for girls, whatever happens in their is not really real, is just a fantasy play, outside of the club is a different story.
So getting all the good indicators from the girl really means nothing so far, that’s why you will understand that outcomes nad expectations are a losing game.
To make yourself real to her, to make yourself that person she will have a one night stand with that night, you have to move her out of the club.
It is completely your responsibility to escalate and jump over obstacles until sex happens, so get ready for a lot of problems.
First and foremost you have to understand her situation and deal with it.
To do that, the simplest way I know came from RSD Julian – again- which is asking 3 questions.
A- What are you doing tomorrow?
B- Who are you with here tonight?
C- Where do you live?
These questions will tell you all you want to know about her logistics.
You just want to make sure she doesn’t have to travel or so early in the morning, she is not the designated driver for the group of friends she is with and finally, she doesn’t live on the other side of the planet from you.
Anything other than these obstacles can be overcome, but if one of the mentioned obstacles are there, the situation will be difficult to deal with.
It is very rare than any of these three obstacles happen, and it is very advised to ask these questions early on in the interaction to understand the situation.
So there you are, got the girl all attracted, figured out the logistics and everything is going just so well, is it over yet?
Is the night over yet?
if it is, then yes the night is over and you can escalate to your or her place.
But very likely, the night is still very young, and neither you nor the girl paid the entrance fee, waited in line and so on just to spend 1 hour in the club and talk to one person, both of you should want to live the night to the fullest.
12- How to party the night out?
Remember how I said early in the article that you should talk to everyone and just focus on having fun?
You will find that one or probably two girls a night will vibe right away with you and things will work fine between the two of you, now having that in mind, just kick back and go talk to other people, go dance with her and have fun, do whatever, just do not rush the night to end.
Sex is going to happen, do not rush it.
Let her talk to other people, you talk to other people, take her with you and introduce her to other people as your sister, do some fun social games, just fuck around.
So there you are, you got her attracted and all, figured out the logistics, partied the night out and now the night is coming to an end, now what?
13- How to take her back to your place or hers?
Never ever say to a girl you just met, ” hey let us go back to my place to fuck” EVER.
Fuck, do not say it to a prostitute either.
It is the ultimate form of judgment to tell a girl right away that you are going back home to fuck, unless she is your girlfriend, DO NOT DO THAT.
Always have a reason to go back to your place, and make it known that you are not planning anything else neither do you have expectation WHILE making it clear that if it felt right to bone, why the fuck not?
I had a shisha back at my place, I always told girls to let us go back to my place to get some drinks and smoke shisha, and I would verbally joke around with, do not think you will get me this easily you have to buy me dinner first 😉
While at the same time I make obvious that I like her and I am attracted to her and wouldn’t mind going wild if the situation felt right.
When you take her back to your place, you should make sure at all times that she is comfortable, feeling safe and unpressured.
14- How to make sex happen?
Well, let me break a little secret for you, even with a girl in your bed kissing you and all over you, sex is still not certain.
Until you are in the process of having sex, sex will still be uncertain.
The girl will have the final say in whether or not sex will happen.
If she says no, then it is a no, no questions asked.
Funny thing is when a girl tells you to stop, and you just stop, just calmly stop everything you were doing and remove your attention completely from her, that moment you did the most seductive act any man can ever poll.
This thing is really powerful, even if things were going fine between me and the girl and she is all over me, I would sometimes just stop and jus remove my attention from her into something else, maybe check my phone, watch stuff on my computer, whatever, this move alone will get her crazy over you.
It is very rare for a girl to ask me to stop and when I do she just leaves or something similar, she always tries to start things again by either telling you how she is shy or something of the similar or by literally jumping back on your lap and kissing you.
If you ever heard of the Las tMiunte resistance, this is its best remedy.
No means no, step back, remove your attention and focus it somewhere else.
That was it, gentlemen, you full guide on getting a one night stand in a club, in the shortest way possible.
I haven’t discussed many possibilities and situations because there is so much to say in between the lines and if I addressed everything this will be a 100k word article, future articles will cover more stuff on the topic.
but for now, you have this knowledge of how a one night stand looks like, use it, go out there and experiment with it.
You got nothing to lose and so much to win.
There is so much more to cover, and I will cover it in the soon future.
If you have any questions you want to ask me about this or anything on your mind, you can write me on [email protected], it is my free email address, and I will answer you within 3 to 6 weeks due to the insane amount of new emails I get daily, nevertheless, you will get an answer from me.
If you need urgent help you can check out my Coaching services in which I will respond to you within 24 hours.
Hope this is enough for you to get off your lazy ass and go out there and make it happen.
So keep a camping blanket in your car, you never know when you will need it!
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