A Tip To Break Your Approach Anxiety

by John Deus

Approach Anxiety

What is holding you from talking to that cute girl you always wanted to talk to, or any girl in the near future is your approach anxiety.

Approach anxiety is a sudden feeling of extreme fear the hits you irrationally and out of nowhere. Suddenly, thoughts are rushing through your head, you feel a hand pushing your chest back. Taking simple steps becomes impossible, Why?

Why is it so terrifying for a guy to approach a girl?

I mean, she is half your weight and you are twice as strong as she is.

She cannot be a direct threat to your life.

Then why is your heart pounding like you just saw a fucking lion?

There are multiple theories about why men have approach anxiety. From a basic point of  view, this act has no threat to our survival.

At least not directly.

Many people believe that, in old times, before the rise of modern civilization, the act of approaching a woman who doesn’t “belong” to you could actually get you killed.

This is one possible reason, Others have said that it is merely due to the possible public embarrassment.


Theories aside, what we could agree on is, it is due to UNCERTAINTY.

You are afraid of approaching because you don’t really know what could happen next, that is why the “100% Rejection Free method” is so popular, even though it doesn’t exist.

It takes out the uncertainty.

Relying on certainty when taking action is a straight and fast way to mediocrity, but that lesson is for another day.

You lack certainty in approaching because you haven’t approached enough, you have no reference experience, so your mind needs to compensate for your lack of experience and balls by telling you that she is probably busy, got a boyfriend, not interested .. etc. Your brain has to “outsource” the problem.

So, if the main cause of having this fear is the fear of uncertainty, then…

The solution to Approach Anxiety is ‘Be Certain’.

Be certain that you will get rejected, aim to get rejected, try your best to get rejected.

Take a day out, approach girls and try your best to get rejected, do it for the fun of it, challenge your friends who can get rejected in the most awesome possible way.

What you will find is:

1- it is pretty hard to get a harsh rejection.

2-it doesn’t really matter, it won’t affect you in any way.

3-it’s fun and not as terrifying as you thought.

Try it out, you got nothing to lose…

Go out, get rejected, and if you are one of those “But I need to justify it to keep my illusion that I am a non-needy non-creepy dude” then after getting rejected, tell the girl that it is a social experiment for your school, college, whatever. this is the greatest excuse of all time, it will get you out of literally any situation.

Go out and approach, with the purpose of getting rejected. if you get rejected, be happy because that is what you want. and after all, it is just a fun social experiment, it is an experiment to prove to all thick-heads out there that approaching girls is easy, fun and certainly not frightening that much.

Now, of course getting rejected shouldn’t always be your goal, this approach is only intended to get you out of your head and the missed up assumptions about rejection. This should in no way be taken as a go-to goal of your approaches.but this is extremely useful when you are starting out or when you feel you are being so uptight and up in your head.

This is extremely useful when you are starting out or when you feel you are being so uptight and up in your head.

Try it out!

John Deus

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Jude March 29, 2015 - 6:06 pm

Really helpful

Daniel June 28, 2016 - 10:51 pm

Just wondering if you have a blog on anxiety just in general, thanks, great article by the way.

How To Get Motivated: Logic Vs. Emotions | Supreme Men October 15, 2017 - 11:43 am

[…] weight, building muscle, approaching girls, having a positive attitude towards life, making money, starting a business… […]

Jem December 28, 2017 - 10:14 am

So what should you say when you approach her? How should a typical conversation look like?


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