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It has been a long time since I wrote anything, A couple of days ago I realized I was asleep – more like in a coma – for the past two years (metaphorically speaking)
Hopefully, I am fully awake and back on track now.
Let us start with today’s article:
The other day I was having dinner with a friend at a fancy restaurant. I noticed two old men coming in, they did not stand out in any way. They were wearing casual clothes, did not seem rich or famous.
Yet they were getting a massive amount of attention from the staff working there. Everyone was so eager to serve them in the best possible way, I noticed the nervousness on the restaurant manager face as he called the chef for a little chat, all the waiters were basically roaming the table where those old men sat down.
I would’ve thought they were the owners of the place, but I am a regular there and I know the owner. So I had to know the story.
I called a waiter and asked about it.
It turns out that they are some famous restaurant critics working for a major magazine.
And that moment was my inspiration for this post.
You see, this eagerness to please that the staff clearly showed to the two old, smelly men.. you can get this same reaction from almost any girl.
You can get (almost) any girl to try her best to impress you, desperately wanting your attention… YOUR VALIDATION.
Here is how…
Do you know why restaurant staff try so hard to impress restaurant critics?
It is because they are a source of validation for restaurants.
What they think of that restaurant does matter, and it matters a lot!
Restaurant critics do differ from one another, a restaurant critic working for a major Magazine holds so much more value than a critic working for a mediocre tabloid.
Sure, a good restaurant manager would try his best to please both of them, but you can bet your money that he will try 1000x times more to impress the critic working for the major magazine.
And there lies the secret.
You see, in some way, everyone is a critic of everyone.
We are basically a species obsessed with judging, rating and validating others.
And we are also obsessed with being positively judged, rated and validated.
But, some people’s opinion matters way more than others.
When a bum tells you that you are an ugly fucker for not giving him some change, it won’t matter that much, but when a hot babe says the exact same words, damn they might stick for a while. – more on not giving a fuck about that later.
Your goal is to become a source of validation, to make your words count to others.
And if you became that, people will eagerly try to please you, to impress you and to seek your validation.
How can you become a source of validation?
How could a Victoria Secret model seek your validation? Seek your “Ya, you are kinda cute”?
Let us break it down…
You have to understand that it is all about exposure.
To make your word count, it must be heard by many people. That is the idea behind celebrities and endorsement.
When a restaurant critic working for a Major magazine says that restaurant X sucks, that means a hell lot of people will read that.
Now they may or may not agree with that, and that will lead us to our next point.
You should not give compliments easily, people should really win your words, your approval.
When you say the word ” beautiful” a lot, and to any girl, that word will lose its value, people will no longer care about what you think because you clearly give positive feedback easily, you are easily impressed.
Being easily impressed means that you haven’t seen that much in your life, while giving a slight smirk to her when she walks in on you with a brand new lingerie she just bought to impress you will show her that you have seen many stunners before her, and when you get up, start kissing her and tell her she looks good, you will be sure as hell she will be remembering it with a smile on her face for at least a week.
Because she earned it, because she understands that you are hard to impress, and she understands that you are completely honest.
Which takes us to the next point.
Be brutally honest, at all times.
This means that you will upset people, quite a lot. It is impossible that you agree with everything that is being said in a certain social setting. People have opinions, some you agree with and some you simply don’t.
Other than that, People will try to lower your value by jokingly insulting you. It will always happen in any social setting with hot females and horny single guys.
I should write a blog post just about that, it could actually be the reason why you are not getting good results in gaming girls.
People around you – mostly your friends – are damaging your image and value in front of everyone while you are obviously smiling and being “polite”. Later on that.
Being honest means that you have no filters, and thus it means that you are telling the truth, you are not trying to “seem” nice and you are not trying to please people.
This will make everyone try their best to be validated by you. This will become super clear when you “neg” a girl about her dress, shoes etc. Given the fact that you have pulled it off correctly, in a funny, assholish way with a smirk on your face. She will surely chase your validation back for the rest of the night.
Being out there, grounded, clear in your own intent, passionate, unafraid to express yourself, pulling a “This is me” mentality and sure of yourself…. This is what makes you a man, not your money, not your looks.
The more value you have, the more your words will matter and thus more people will chase your validation.
Get on track to becoming a presence, an individual that truly matters.
Enough with the blending in mentality.
Share the wisdom gentlemen.